Why Women Are Pissed Off — It’s So Much More Than Roe V. Wade
I’ve debated writing this for a while, but speaking my truth is too important now.
And if I can get one man to actually to listen and think for a minute, then it’s worth it.
I’m also not interested in bashing men here. I swing between being incredibly angry at what’s happening and heartbroken. I also don’t think this applies to *all men.*
I’ve seen a cartoon on Facebook several times that says, “I waffle between staying informed and being at peace.”
That’s never been more true than now.
My other struggle is aligning with my spiritual beliefs and keeping my energy high rather than feeling angry and living with a lower negative energy.
It often means I have to tune out all media… even the media that aligns with my beliefs.
In a recent conversation with my Dad (who is just about to be 80), I asked him if he knew that women couldn’t get a credit card in their name until 1973, a home loan in their name until the 1980s, or that the first SBA loan for a woman wasn’t granted until 1988.
He knew none of that — and was surprised.
When I shared the story with my daughter (27), she asked, “Where was he then? How did he not know that?”
My response?
Because it wasn’t newsworthy.
Men controlled the media.
They still do.
It didn’t affect them; women not having financial freedom benefited men.
This is a tiny example of what is meant by ‘privilege.’
I hadn’t realized what a privileged life I had been living until 2020, when George Floyd was killed.
During that period, the streaming channels started featuring black films and TV programs prominently when you logged in.
And it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I never grew up not seeing myself represented.
It broke my heart.
This is what men, more specifically, white men, have been privileged with their entire lives.
I’ve been an entrepreneur in the marketing space for the last 16.5 years, and the ‘bro marketing’ culture is very, very real.
It’s also tired.
It feels like one big circle-jerk much of the time.
On the one hand, it boggles my mind that still, in 2024, every round-up of ‘top marketers, top books, and multi-speaker events (virtual or in-person)’ is usually 70–90% men with a few token women thrown in.
On the other hand, never in a million years did I think I’d see Roe V. Wade overturned.
So there’s that.
It’s a huge reason I feel the pull to shift out of the marketing space (when I started my business in 2008, I never intended to market about marketing) and into a direction that supports and promotes women.
This is a bell I can’t unring.
Suddenly, I see how women haven’t had a voice or are not even part of the narrative everywhere.
In every industry.
I follow an author, Ryan Holiday, who writes about Stoicism, which has always interested me.
Then it hit me… hmm… I wonder if there were any female Stoics?
When I did a little research, I got this:
“Stoic philosophers were men, the philosophy itself has always been inclusive of women. Here are some notable examples (also note how the introduction states they were a daughter and wife. Fortunately, the longer list of modern Stoics didn’t do that):
- Porcia Catonis: Daughter of Cato, known for her bravery and philosophical inclinations.
- Annia Cornificia Faustina Minor: Daughter of the Stoic Emperor Marcus Aurelius.
- Fannia: Daughter of Thrasea, a leader of the Stoic Opposition.
- Hipparchia of Maroneia: A Cynic philosopher and wife of Crates of Thebes, who influenced Zeno, the founder of Stoicism
Ryan wrote more about them here.
How many people have ever heard of any of these women?
You can pretty much pick any industry in modern times and realize men created the entire narrative.
Because women weren’t allowed to be a part of it.
Were there women who broke the mold?
Of course, but other than a brief lesson in a history class in school, how often do you hear about them?
Not to mention how much ridicule, judgment, and ostracization they received.
When the movie Hidden Figures, about Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson, came out, I loved it (I saw it twice in the theater). I remember thinking, “Why weren’t we taught about these women in school?”
As a marketer, I started looking deeper at advertising and marketing as I studied copywriting and the psychology behind it all.
All men.
What sort of data would we have today on marketing and advertising if women had run Madison Avenue?
What about medicine?
Even though we make up 50% of the population, males are still the default subjects in medical research.
Women have to jump through hoops to have a doctor take their symptoms seriously, and yet our military spends 84 MILLION a year on erectile dysfunction medication.
Not to mention the bullshit women have been fed for years about how they're supposed to look and behave because that’s what men want.
Even if a woman hasn’t ever been directly told those things, it’s so deeply ingrained in our society that we absorb it on a subconscious level.
We live in a world where judges are more concerned about a young man’s career than the damage he’s done for raping or beating a woman.
Or how about this:
“The Olympic athlete who molested a child and is still competing is Steven van de Velde, a Dutch volleyball player. He was convicted of raping a 12-year-old British girl in 2016 and served only one year of a four-year sentence. Despite his conviction, he has been selected to represent the Netherlands at the Paris 2024 Olympics.”
He molested a CHILD.
Or this:
“The case of Natasha O’Brien refers to a highly publicized incident in Ireland where a woman named Natasha O’Brien was brutally beaten by an Irish soldier named Cathal Crotty. The case gained widespread attention due to the lenient treatment of the perpetrator by the justice system, sparking widespread outrage and protests across Ireland.”
The soldier was given a SUSPENDED sentence because the judge didn’t want it to impact his military career.
SERIOUSLY?!?!!
What do you think the consequences would have been if it were a white man (or boy) being assaulted by a black man?
Many of you probably saw the question that went around the Internet in recent months where women were asked if they were alone in the woods at night, would they rather encounter a bear or a man.
Most women said they’d take their chances with the bear.
Let that sink in for a moment.
Every Single Woman you know has genuine fear about feeling unsafe when alone at night, with men they don’t know, or just the idea of a man attacking her because she’s alone.
I saw so many good men I know online making jokes about the man vs. bear argument.
This speaks volumes about them either not getting the reality we feel or being so uncomfortable with the situation they have to make jokes.
At a dinner in Costa Rica a few years ago, an acquaintance of the people I was eating with joined us for a few minutes—a white male in his early 70s who was well over six ft. tall.
He shared how he had just retired to Costa Rica, how safe it was, and that he was perfectly comfortable walking the beaches at night.
To which I replied, “That’s because you’re a white male. I would never walk the beaches alone at night here.”
Which, of course, fell on deaf ears.
Can you imagine what a different world this might be if, instead of ignoring my comment, he had said, “Wow, I never thought of that. Thanks for sharing.”
Would he have ignored it and felt the same safety if his daughter had decided to simply go for a walk on the beach at night alone and been attacked?
Side note: I’d feel the same way in any city in the US. This isn’t about the location.
THIS is why women are pissed off.
I can’t even get into Roe V. Wade.
Why anyone thinks they have the right to mandate what any other person does with their body is beyond me.
How about we mandate vasectomies OR mandate which job a man will have so his wages can be attached to support the child he’s created?
There is nothing anyone could say that would shift my belief that every single person is entitled to equality — regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, country of origin — you name it.
And yet here we are, facing a rewinding of the clock 60+ years and repeating history.
I can’t even get into corporate greed.
We’d be here all day.
So… now what?
As I mentioned, I want to spend more time supporting women and helping to change the narrative.
I’ll do my part to vote and support what I believe in.
I’m also asking men to start listening.
Don’t jump to defend.
Ask yourself how you would feel if:
- The government dictated what you could and couldn’t do with your body. And that you only made up 28% of Congress?
- You earned 82 cents to a woman’s dollar? (And lower if you’re not white)
- Even though you make up 50% of the population, you were treated less than equal?
- Your contributions to society were treated less than?
- Regardless of your achievements (when you were allowed to make them), you were introduced as someone's husband?
- The majority of the history you were taught was about women only?
There seems no better way to end this article than with RBG:
